Throughout my career, I've received candid feedback about my leadership style—both good and bad. One consistent theme keeps surfacing: my ability to foster trust, enabling team members to discuss their deepest concerns openly.
I used to think this came from competence. That people trusted me because I knew what I was doing. I was wrong. The trust came from something else entirely.
(Caveat: I'm sharing what worked for me across a few situations. I can differentiate correlation from causation only 50% of the times - so take this with appropriate salt.)
Two Insights on Vulnerability.
There's no shortage of good leadership advice out there. But two insights have stayed with me longer than most—because I stumbled upon them accidentally rather than reading them in a book.
First insight: True connection with your team emerges when you reveal your own vulnerabilities. Real leadership is when they choose to follow you despite—or even because of—your openness about your weaknesses.
This sounds backwards. We're trained to project confidence, to have answers, to be the steady hand. But projection creates distance. Authenticity creates connection.
Second insight: You've truly arrived as a leader when your team goes out of their way to compensate for your shortcomings—not out of obligation, but out of genuine care for your success.
This is the test. Not whether they tolerate your weaknesses. Whether they actively cover for them because they want you to succeed.
Should You Actually Do This?
Should you disclose your vulnerabilities to your team?
Absolutely.
(Just make sure they don't hate you already when you do it.)
In my experience of observing leaders, those who maintain a facade of invulnerability often come across as inauthentic. People can sense performance. The most connected and respected leaders are those who embrace their imperfections openly.
Some of my proudest moments as a leader have been when a team member says: "Don't worry about this part, boss. I've got it covered—you're not great at this anyway."
That sentence contains multitudes. It means they see you clearly. They're not pretending otherwise. And they've decided to help anyway. That's trust you can't manufacture.
The Algorithm.
If you haven't tried this, here's a starting point:
Identify one genuine weakness—something you actually struggle with, not a humble-brag dressed as a flaw
Share it with a small group of trusted colleagues first
Watch what happens
You might be surprised. The people who already respect you will respect you more. The people who were looking for reasons to dismiss you will continue doing so regardless.
The vulnerability test doesn't create trust. It reveals whether trust was already possible.
Not the only way. Probably not even the best way. Just one practitioner's version that worked.
What's your experience with showing vulnerability as a leader? Has it helped or hurt? Let me know in comments.
~Discovering Turiya@work@life
